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  • ladyspatch


    March 10, 2015, 10:28 pm

    The best thing you can do in this situation is move on. Don't worry, get on with your life, DATE other people immediately. He is probably seeing someone else, or wants to see someone else. If you move on right away, 1st he will see you getting on without him & this intrigues men; 2nd you will be doing what is healthy for you so naturally you will start feeling better. He is right, "if it's meant to be, it will happen" but at this point there is nothing you can do to change his mind, you can only change your own mind.


  • jt004c


    March 11, 2015, 4:38 am

    The thing that's always bothered me about these terms is that artificially restrict consideration of other possible explanations, when many are in fact possible.

    It's not necessarily gravity being exerted by unseen bodes that's holding galaxies together, but attributing it to 'dark matter' implies exactly that. 'Dark energy' does just the same thing for unexplained repulsion forces.

    Other types of explanations could be flaws in our understanding of how gravity operates on large scales, flaws in our understanding of time, additional forces (or force drop offs) that only show up on galactic scales, etc. Why rule these possibilities out with a label?


  • krakow057


    March 10, 2015, 11:26 pm

    > People with addictions can't just quit.

    Pussies can't quit. Any human being that's worth something can grasp for a little self-control and beat it.

    Honestly, if you can't quit on your own or with a little "sentimental" (friends and family) support, you probably don't deserve it.

    More on topic: **drink less**. The "stop drinking altogether" is bullshit (unless that's specifically what you want, cut it completely). Set a goal like "when I start getting dizzy, force myself to stop/leave". Presto.


  • brufleth


    March 10, 2015, 10:50 am

    What's your point? I never said Cramer is himself an idiot and I don't care. He's successful despite whatever I feel about him.

    My point is that his show is presented in such a way that it discredits itself. I would be suspicious if I hired a lawyer and they showed up in a clown suit. That isn't how a typical respectable lawyer would present their self. Maybe they're still good but warning flags would be going off. Same deal with a man giving investment advice with a panel of sound effect buttons.

    Your comparison to a cooking show isn't fair either. You can actually learn quite a bit from cooking shows and they compliment experience and reading cookbooks. They're also usually presented as entertainment without any presumptions. My wife watches quite a lot of them and has become an accomplished cook and baker in small part from the inspiration she has taken from cooking shows.

    Jim Cramer's show has been shown to be fundamentally misleading. He makes wild assumptions and studies have shown following his picks would lead to losing money. It would be like Julia Child saying you should put your Thanksgiving turkey in the microwave for two hours wrapped in tin foil. Granted the topics aren't really comparable. You're the one who compared them though.


  • necrosis


    March 10, 2015, 6:29 am

    Well, you'd think so. The democrats though represent a fairly diverse group of interests. From "Teamsters to Transvestites", they say.

    And frankly without the moderate/conservative democrats from Purple or Reddish states that were suffering a fair amount of "Bush Fatigue", I doubt democrats would have the leads that they do have.

    So, the calculation comes down to this: Do the democrats ram through something quickly (because they can), or try to build intra-democrat, bi-partisan and populist support? To do the former in a year when their lead is certainly made up of the anti-Bush vote as much or more than the pro-progressive agenda pretty much guarantees them that the next couple of elections may be losers.

    Besides, Michael Moore rhetoric-aside: they aren't going to really lose progressives. Who would the progressives vote for, Republicans?


  • leevs11


    March 10, 2015, 6:40 pm

    An average day looks like this:

    Breakfast - 2 hard boiled eggs, 1/2 cup berries (frozen are cheaper), 1/4 cup plain organic yogurt, 1 banana.

    Lunch - Salad with spinach, at least 1-2 cups of assorted veggies, can of tuna/salmon, with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

    Dinner - Any type of good meat. Chicken breast, pork chop, steak, salmon are all good. Then fill the rest of your plate with veggies or salad. Usually I cover the meat in olive oil and seasonings then grill. (or george foreman in the winter)

    Snacks - I have an apple and a handful or two of almonds.

    Try this kind of thing and I bet you'll see a difference. Just focus on most of your food from veggies and good meats. No carbs, no sugar, no processed garbage.


  • bitcloud


    March 11, 2015, 7:36 am

    Thanks for your response. I understand that these are complex programs, but "breaking down the romantic period mathematically" <> "experiencing a human life rich with emotion, insight and inquiry, and expressing a single sliver of it through composition".

    Music is a language. It's easy for us mislead ourselves into thinking that these compositions are coherent. They sound good, and thats a great start, but just because *we* can't tell that "fromais rouge bagette" isn't a legitimate french sentence, doesn't mean that it's enough to write AI that emulates it.

    No amount of being "steeped in the discipline" changes the fact that music, and compositional phrasing has evolved as an expression of human emotion. I mentioned in another reply that I can't write a dramatic piece and tell you it's an ode to sunshine and lollypops. You understand the language before I speak it to you. The same applies to AI. Robots don't (yet) have the culture or the life experience to compete against *real* music.

    Show it a baroque piece and it can spit out baroque, but show it the moonlight and lets see how long it takes to write the moonlight sonata.


  • 3eyedlie


    March 10, 2015, 9:12 am

    I would like nothing better for my kids than to have their mother clean up her life and get back into their lives. It may make my life harder, but they will be better off for it. That being said it would take a lot for me to be convinced that she had turned over a new leaf.

    I don't think I have to work twice as hard, if anything because of all the negative stereotypes I get the benefit of the doubt in most situations. I can't even count how many times people have said "but your kids are normal" and then looked at me like I was amazing.

    As for your two stereotypes here are my answers:

    - I feel bad for them. These people obviously made some bad choices early on in life and are paying the penalty. I wouldn't want to heap my negative judgment on them afterwards.

    - Thats part of the deal of having kids. If you win custody you get the benefits of taking care of them, which includes child support. So while their ex-husbands are out developing and improving their career, these people get (up to an) 18 year vacation... after which they are kind of SOL.


  • twilightmoons


    March 10, 2015, 2:39 pm

    The cops in the neighborhood are pretty good. We have some weird experiences before when the police came to the house unexpectedly. Two off the top of my head were:

    * Two police officers show up and started shining lights through the windows. I was working at my computer in my room... in the dark, and a flashlight is shining through the blinds. NOT a good moment. I went to another window and saw the flashing lights on the car, and opened the door. There were two 911 calls from our house they were investigating, which is weird as there were only three people home at the time, and two of them were asleep. I know I didn't call...

    * Police came investigating a stolen car that was found that was registered to our address. We didn't have a car like that, ever. The previous owners didn't have a car like that. No idea WTF that was about.

    Then again, this house has had weird stuff happening inside for years. No one ever died there, and it was built in a new development so there wasn't a house there previously. It COULD have been burglars, or it could have been some of the weird crap... or just Mom not shutting the door all the way. Since the house is on a well-trafficked street across from a well-used public park, in a well-lit area, I didn't think it was likely to be a burglar.


  • Yofi


    March 10, 2015, 11:23 am

    I worked at McDonald's for a year and it made me feel a lot *better* about the quality of the food. I think it must depend on the restaurant because we were big into cleanliness, and personally I don't have a problem with eating frozen meat from McDonald's any more than I have a problem with heating up a microwave burrito. The meat there is so delicious after they salt it…

    The good thing about McDonald's being a huge corporation is that they won't get away with being dirty and rude, because they have inspectors from Corporate breathing down their necks. People used to come through our drive-thru undercover with stopwatches.


  • clothespegs


    March 10, 2015, 7:32 am

    I remember asking my Grandmother this and she said she had no sense of home and it's something I really don't have an answer for. I think the ideal 'home' for any Roma person would be, being able to travel freely in peace. There's such diversity as well between Roma it's insane. It almost feels at time that different families are different races. People base everything depending on what your surname is or the everlasting question, "Who's your dad then?" I don't think there's enough of a collective identity to claim any sort of a homeland.


  • Haffiliation


    March 10, 2015, 10:59 pm

    The same exact thing happened to me. Moved to the US when 10, had to leave when 23 after i got my bachelor's. Sadly there is no effective process for getting papers in the states. And I was there legally those entire 13 years, but if you can't get a company to sponsor your green card, then you´re screwed=( practically it does not matter if you lived there the majority of your life or if it's your first day. In other countries there are laws that allow you to become a resident if you've been in the country legally for a number of years, in the US there is no such law, it was supposed to be the Dream Act, but the republicans shot it down before Bush left the white house.


  • necrosis


    March 11, 2015, 5:34 am

    This is pretty fair. When I was younger, I was indifferent. Frankly, I couldn't imagine it. As I got older, and had a few "accidents" ... I noticed an odd reversal. I am more worried about death in the abstract (how will I get to experience anything if I'm not here), but less worried about it in the concrete (will it hurt/suck during dying).

    Flat-lining a couple of times has probably helped here. All in all, experimentally, subjectively, it was a pretty calm time - and I don't worry about that part as much. Practice helps! :-)


  • NO2


    March 10, 2015, 1:45 pm

    It isn't right at all.

    What this number stems from, and EVERYONE should know this, is Microsoft basically:

    Buying 1 billionth of facebook for $15.

    Ok, they paid a few hundred million for the equivalently small percentage, basically, it had to be a large enough sum to ensure that the piece bought didn't look ridiculously small (therefore giving the game away) and still giving facebook a 'tens of' billions valuation.

    I don't know why microsoft wanted to do this, but something was afoot. facebook is run by some real idiots.

    (and don't use its popularity to try and disparage that claim)

    To put it another way, Microsoft had to buy a big enough piece of facebook to seem legitimate, while still overpaying enough to inflate its perceived market value.


  • bleepitybleep


    March 10, 2015, 6:18 pm

    I think you're right about being comfortable alone. I have finally achieved this state but it only came from being in a relationship with someone who was intent on controlling my entire life. After that experience, the thought of any relationship - well, I don't think of those anymore.

    I also wonder what part hormones play in the daily relationship hunt. I'm post menopausal now and that seems to play a big role in my interests. Meaning I am just so not interested in entanglements anymore, and quite frankly, I don't really care how it happened: I feel freer than I've ever felt.

    I sure wish I could felt that way earlier in life. Because I'm much less driven than I was in my youth, I certainly don't feel the need to rush into anything which is a relief.

    I wish I could package this frame of mind and pass it on to you :)


  • ThinkBeforeYouDie


    March 10, 2015, 10:40 pm

    No the "simple" and true answer is bipartite:

    1) Some things that otherwise can benefit survival are not always perceived as beautiful, or may have been perceived as beautiful at one time. Perception of beauty is also cultural as well as genetic. So, being fat or plump was evolutionarily successful due to storage of fat and survival through food shortages. It was also considered beautiful in Victorian England and perhaps in other cultures through out the ages.

    2) Attractive male phenotypes and female phenotypes are often diametrically opposed. A strong jaw in men is considered attractive while it's a put off in females. To produce both attractive men and attractive women you have to have both of these (and all the other characteristics in the set) in the set of features and they are not always or not even usually gender dimorphic. So you get horse faced girls who look ugly or manly and effeminate looking guys who don't quite look manly.


  • phire


    March 10, 2015, 5:37 am

    Ah, well eclipse is a special case.

    I've got a 1900x1200 and a 1650x1050 screen hooked up to my desktop and I'm doing plugin development for eclipse. I had my main eclipse session full screen on the bigger screen in the debug perspective arranged so I could see as much as possible.

    Then on the 2nd screen I had the client eclipse session with my plugin, maximised doing development to be debugged on the first screen.

    Then on my laptop, I had firefox open with all the documentation, and a 3rd eclipse session so I could browse other parts of code.

    And I still wanted more screen space.


  • necrosis


    March 10, 2015, 11:22 am

    > Perhaps the sign that you've reached adulthood is when you tell yourself that

    > * You don't have a clue about how to answer the "Great Questions"

    I like this. I didn't get interested in what you call "Great Questions" until I was 35 y.o. or so. I pretty much burned through the literature and what not in the next 5 years, or so. Even though at the end of my "search", I was intellectually where you are ... it took me several more years to come to emotional terms with it. That might be the "growing up" part, right there.


  • shaolingod


    March 10, 2015, 11:32 am

    You are a beautiful person!

    My sister was in a similar situation. Luckily she never got beaten that bad and she left him a few months ago. My father had one run in with the bastard when the douche tried to get into his house to come get my sister. If you knew my dad I wouldn´t have to tell you that the hubby got the raw end of that exchange. =)

    I often feared what would happen if he really beat her up because I wouldn´t have been able to stop myself.

    -I had several run ins as a teen being overly protective of my ADHD brother. When you see a loved one assaulted you just kinda see red and the animal in you takes over. -Does that sound familiar?

    Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I find your actions commendable. It sounds harsh and before you all start saying that one should never take a life I´d like to say that I almost agree with you, but not quite.


  • jeezfrk


    March 10, 2015, 5:44 pm

    If by better off you mean much worse off than most of the modern world, leaving America as a lovely 2nd-world capitol for vast numbers of people whose schools/hospitals and infrastructure is failing and giving no jobs for even the honor students who grow up on the wrong side of the tracks. A place where companies don't send their best jobs because of uneven quality in employees.

    As long as we have financiers who make billions of dollars for their retirement.

    Yeah. The American poor are better off than 100 years ago. Big deal. So is Namibia. You're apparently not very proud of America as a country.

    Anyone who religiously believes in self-centered apathy don't need an economic theory. Any little myth about dysentery or flu 100 years ago will do to help them not care. Its just a bizarre story to let them believe no one they care about will be showing up at an empty food bank for their family. Self-assurance has nothing to do with facts.

    That's just like the anti-health-care protester (fact) who fought and bitterly complained he had no health insurance to heal his new wounds.


  • weavejester


    March 10, 2015, 7:39 am

    > It tries to apply factory-line assembly process methodology to a creative process.

    No it doesn't.

    > Also with the amount of paperwork

    Scrum has no paperwork beside a priority-ordered list of features.

    > and accounting that's involved

    There isn't any accounting.

    > it will completely tie up a majority of the manager's time

    Only if your managers work 15-minute days.

    > It just pisses off developers

    Not if done correctly.

    > and gives management arbitrary metrics to hold over their heads

    Not if they're doing scrum correctly.

    Honestly, what you describe is basically the exact inverse of what scrum is meant to be.


  • yoshiary


    March 11, 2015, 3:18 am

    I'm not sure about the mythology but I CAN tell you the exact same story is presented in:

    A) Freaky Stories: A cockroach and a worm hang out in a café exchanging urban legends that always begin with "It happened to a friend of a friend of mine". One of these was about a millionaire who spent all his money to become immortal, but not to stop aging.

    B) Renaissance: A film set in France in the year 2051 details the quest for immortality and we come upon a character who's mind does not age but his body does. We presume he's immortal.


  • brufleth


    March 10, 2015, 11:34 am


    Explained. Union workers are still largely getting a better deal than most of us. I'm non union and work with union guys. They get paid overtime when they come in on Saturday. I am lucky if I get comp time.

    Same deal with health care. My sister and brother are in the teacher's union and have much better health care than I do even though I work at a job with typically better compensation.

    People who are non union or even worse self employed or employed by small businesses aren't going to get the sweet deal you're getting. And no, we can't all get into unions.


  • johnhummel


    March 10, 2015, 10:51 pm

    That's what I felt as well - so yes, the headline to this article is unfair.

    Then again, I could have answered his question of whom I think Republicans want to die:

    Based on the way that Republicans have tried to first prevent and stop Medicare since it's inception, clearly they want old people to die.

    Based on the way many of them opposed S-CHIP expansions, and the comments I've seen from people on Reddit of "Why should I pay if your child gets sick", they have no problem wanting children to die.

    Studies show that communities and countries with universal health care have fewer abortions because low income women can get the health care they need through their pregnancy and support with the birth afterward - so clearly Republicans want fetuses to die.

    Considering that the costs of Medicare for All (which would expand Medicare to the entire country) would save more money than the current Baucus plan, while providing basic health care that would prevent around 40,000 Americans from dying every year from lack of health care - I'd say they want every working person who can't afford health insurance to die when they get sick or severely injured.

    Did I miss anyone?


  • clothespegs


    March 10, 2015, 1:33 pm

    I honestly think that, as you say, the whole thing is a 2 way street. The Roma need more cultural transparency and to be more accepting of non-gypsy people, whilst on the same hand, non-gypsy people need to appreciate that it is a culture and not a band of thieves trying to live outside the law. Honestly, I don't think it'll ever happen. This isn't a race issue where a group is trying to integrate into everyday society. This is an issue where a group want to co-exist with mainstream society yet still be their own people.


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